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Song: “The Suez Canal Song”

Words: April Grant (c) 2021
Tune: Charles Dibdin (d. 1814), “Tom Bowline”

Our crew has sailed the ocean rolling
But now we’re out of luck;
Turns out the ocean has a colon
And that is where we’re stuck.
I guess this ship is what we live in,
Bust out the booze we shall,
And no more fucks were Ever Given,
Crosswise in the Suez Canal.

They’ve brought a backhoe out the isthmus
To dig the Suez more wide;
We’re gonna be stuck here till Christmas,
Here’s your gold star, you tried.
Two hundred ships, more every hour,
Our ill luck does corral,
You get a twisted sense of power,
Crosswise in the Suez Canal.

“If sailing ships was my assignment,”
Thus passersby do chat,
“I’d simply keep lengthwise alignment.
Now did you think of that?”
Oh, armchair sailors, you’re simply cloying,
Thanks for the feedback, pal,
We’ve made our peace with being annoying,
Crosswise in the Suez Canal.

Composed to celebrate the days in March and April 2021 that the container ship Ever Given spent blocking the Suez Canal. No one died or was injured and a lot of people were inconvenienced, making this event comedy gold as far as I’m concerned. Please note that the backhoe, plus the highest tide at full moon, plus other concerted small efforts, did refloat the vessel, so the song isn’t quite fair in its dismissiveness.
Words in a Google doc are here.

Video of me singing “The Suez Canal Song.”